This Is What I Mean By “Deliberate”

This is what I mean when I say deliberate.  I had to mindfully and deliberately place myself in front of my desk with my desk organized and my computer staring full face at me.  Once sitting there i felt closer to what i needed and wanted to do next.  But until I self motivated myself to go sit in the deliberate position at my desk, I had no desire to write.  

For me having a position, a place in the world, (a corner in my bed room at this moment), is important to the creative process.  I can get lost in the details of my life.  I can remember a hundred chores instead of putting my self in the place where I need to be to write.  
This is the first step of the deliberate intention that I must activate in order for the well being and the down streaming to occur to me.  Yes, I said that right.  I have to motivate myself before the well being can occur to me.  One action is mine to take and one action simply happens at the beckoning of the universe.  I motivate myself to conduct my self to the very edge of my life, the very point from which my sensation of life emits.   
This is the place from where I live my most creative moments in life.  From this position I can pretty much dissociate myself from the activities of my egoic life and pay full attention to the broader consciousness, the aspects of instincts that have been suppressed in order to learn to walk and talk and write and in general get along to some degree with the other humans that inhabit this location in time and space.
There are a series of words and phrases that seem to go along with following the dictates of the heart.  The dictates of the mind we have understood to a greater of lesser degree depending on how we have related to authority.  If we have been goodie-two-shoes about life we have obeyed all the commandments  of law and morality, some fostered on us by parents, some by churches and institutions and others again by constitutional and corporate structures.  The compliant individual has a certain task of unlearning that is more brutal to change than those who have had a more liberal and perhaps rebellions out-look to growing up.  The ego and the super ego are aspects of our mental functioning that have been crucial, indeed necessary to our human growth.  We have suppressed in order to learn, and we learn in order to fit in.  We fit in because our feeling of belonging is necessary as an infant and as a child, but as we put away our childish notions we get to see and understand that certain aspects of our grown up behavior belong to a portion of our mind that was necessary to grow up, but may no longer be necessary to our adult survival in the world.  In fact some of the routines and patterns that we have learned in our youth and childhood may be lethal to our creativity and our well being as adults.
So we need to make a distinction between the dictates of mind and the dictates of the heart.  But in doing so, we immediately leave the realm of science and many of us are reluctant to leave the discipline that has brought us so many understandings about on internal and external universe. The words that we have to use to understand the dictates of the heart are words like, love, peace, serenity, ease, vulnerability and faith.  They are words like, courage, intuition, compassion and empathy. These have no categorical definitions that allow us to study them as physical concepts.  They appear at first glance, first glimpse, to be so allusive that no two people would experience them in exactly the same way.  I mean we do not understand serenity in the way that we understand a table.  There are no physical properties that we can attribute to serenity.
But, in another way that does not entirely depend on these physical properties, we tend to all have the similar feeling about the phrase, “Look at those two, they are so in love,” or, “look at the autumn mountain scenery, it’s beautiful.”
In the above sentence we have a knowing and shared experience that as human to human we think we know what that means.  “I felt so warmly toward him”, is a phrase that we sort of get.  Yet, to examine it in a scientific way just would not fly….there are no mathematical proofs to point to.  Matters of the heart have always been non-categorical and do not show themselves to us in ways that we can calculate their meaning.  But that does not mean that they therefore to not have meaning.  It is just that we have to discover a philosophy and a protocol that will allow us to examine these matters of the heart in a fashion that at least points to shared understandings.  Instinct has long been used in psychoanalysis and other therapies, but it is not a part of the literature.  Instead it is a part of the body of knowledge that makes us the architecture of scientific analysis; but to speak and to study the intuitions has been a matter left to new age psychology and many of us thinking folks, have not taken kindly to exploring instincts in the presence of a supervisor.  We behave as analysts slightly differently that we talk about our art and science.
Finding our way around our adult lives is a very different endeavor than finding ourselves unraveling the aspects of youth.  Children are struggling with a different learning experience than adults struggle with.  As adults if we remain connected to learning as a way to please others, we hardly will find gratification.  As adults we have to discover our way around conducting ourselves in ways that are profoundly pleasing rather than profoundly important.  As children it is important that we learn the rules of the game, as adults we have to be able to make choices that have nothing to do with how anyone one else understands their lives or these rules.  We have to be able to pilot ourselves forward in a manner that does not ignore others, but in a manner that is aimed deliberately at what causes pleasure.  
It is this aspect of the drives forces that has us struggling with the matters of the heart (instincts).  As we become closer to our own instinctual drives we can see what it is in this world that gives us pleasure.  The importance of this is profound.  Until we are able to get it, that we want something because it will please us, we are destined to be getting only those things that fit in with the world view that we had as a child.  Not entirely a bad thing, but not the deliberate good feeling that we get from knowing that we are on a track that follows our very own specific desires and heartfelt instincts.
Desire and deliberate intent are bedfellows.  The force of our drives is dependent on the aim and the object that we aim for. Pleasure or gratification of the life drive is what causes quality in our lives.  We are all able to live a hum-drum existence, for the most part we are all able to follow the rules close enough so that we can live unseen.  But that has a tremendous drawback for those among us who are searching for a greater capacity to enjoy life.  The search for joy in truth comes from the exploration of instincts not the examination of knowledge.  Again knowledge is not a bad thing and I am not advocating moving away from what we know with out minds, I am simply advocating for equal attention to be paid to the matters of the heart.  I think that it is in making connections with people through the understanding of instincts that we begin to understand the curative aspects of relationships.  There is nothing quite so pleasing than to be sad, or lonely, or depressed and to have someone else understand that state from their perspective.  The connections made with empathy are deep connections that touch cortical-limbic biology in us.  I think this is why psychoanalysis works.  It works because analysts in training are encouraged to explore everything from a non-judgemental perspective.  All is fair game.  The mantra to say everything is more than a simple byline to our product, saying everything is the core dynamic operating when two people find that the knowledge they share comes from each of them and is understood equally.  There is no greater than and less than aspect to analysis.  The working down the feelings until they become shared knowledge is what give the impetus to the patient or client to move toward self-motivating.  
Moving ourselves and our patients toward self-motivating is the most important connective aspect of psychoanalysis.  It is where we begin to glimpse the central issues that plague mankind.
Freud and Jung were very close to this knowledge.  However, the bent toward scientific inquiry was so strong in the medical schools of the late 19th century that it was a sacrilege to even study dreams, let alone consider something as vague as a heartfelt instinct.  That was to be left to the Shaman. Moving forward one hundred years the neuro science of today has begun to define in biological terms that the connections between various aspects of the triune brain are real connections and that unscientific terms like unconscious, dream, and unknown thought have a chair at the scientific board.  

dr. albert dussault

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