question to answer

I wonder as I write these essays if I will ever figure out if anyone is reading them. Then, of the clear blue (or grey) if you happen to be from New England, there is a response. Yet I am not quite satisfied so I am changing my approach to this particular blog-roll. My other blogs will continue to be written as in the past, but I want to try to be more professorial in my FreeAssociation blog.
By that I mean that i would like to conduct this blog more like a classroom than like a lecture. To that end I am going to ask questions and ask you, my readers to do your very best at answering the questions so that we can establish a dialogue through this new internet connectivity.

Connectivity and belonging remain among the most important social standards that we have. If we do not feel that we belong, we squeeze ourselves and twist ourselves into all manners of shape in order to garner a semblance of belonging. The question that I have in mind for us to discuss has to do with the capacity that we have to belong. What does it mean to you to feel like you belong? Do you feel like you belong or do you feel like you attempt to have people like you and you come away feeling unknown or unseen?

If you refer back to the previous blog on the blog-roll and read the section on adequacy and self-respect and we add to that idea that
we can only really love if we love ourselves first–then we have a formula for well-being. We have a template to follow,authentic if we believe that only authentic behavior will bring us the peace and the soothing that we need, then we might have a jump on how we get the world to look like what we need it to look like.

Do you agree that connectivity is a most important dimension of human life?

Dr. A. L. Dussault, Mindfulness in Psychoanalysis


9 comments on “question to answer

  1. Lawrence J. Krips says:

    Big questions, but I’ll give a short answer. Yes, connectivity (i.e., relating to another or others) is a tremendously important aspect of being human. But, as you have pointed out, if one doesn’t relate to one’s own being, who is it who is relating to the others. Only the true self can make your heart sing. So, the question then becomes who is the true self. Ahh, another essay.

  2. Kathy says:

    It’s interesting that you should ask about connectivity using this medium, but I am glad you did. Just reading your posts makes me feel like a bit of a voyeur, as does much of what I do over the web. That is to say, I do not feel authentic here. While this medium exposes us to much, it does not really expose us, as we truly are. I try to choose my words as carefully as I can to convey exactly what I mean, but they are just words. I believe these advances in technology have done more to isolate than connect us.

    That being said, I do feel connectivity is essential to our well being. When interacting face-to-face I strive to know and to be known. To be interested and interesting. To belong. When this occurs I feel joy in living.

    • aldussault says:

      well, we do have these advances and in a way we are stuck with them, like we were to the Gutenberg press or radio and television….connectivity is a sensation a
      that one gets from making a connection and that can be made, i think a host of ways…a father speaking to his son by telephone. the son is at war and the phone call
      is what they have—-it can be a powerful connection although it is not in person….you have added thought inspiring questions here thank you

  3. Anna Smith says:

    I feel totally connected since I read ‘Consciousness: left vs. right’ and ‘Gratitude & Greed Occupy the same egoic space’. I so related to your words that I decided I ‘belong’ here. 🙂

  4. Harold G. Neuman says:

    Connectivity. Great stuff when it is invited, an abomination when it is not. Your question is difficult because we cannot easily generalize a one-size-fits-all answer. Many (or most) of us just want to be like everyone else. We want acceptance, approval and so on. And we need to be connected with others, in order to get those things we can’t create or obtain on our own. Diverse needs require diverse connections. It is all academic now. And practical.

  5. … currently learning a lot from Erich Fromm’s readings …”Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve.”
    Mentally, on days I love myself – I belong most anywhere – fully able to be myself in the world – belonging and creating without masks (the purest form of belonging)and being genuinely present for the cares and needs of others. Other days I’m an emotional wreck – self-centered to the extreme and feeling that I don’t belong anywhere – least of all in my own skin. Are we can ourselves the “superior species on this planet!!” Such is the human condition. I make my life heaven or hell. Belonging is largely in the mind of the perceiver unless someone has an abhorent personality or diseage that others can’t tolerate.

  6. So a family of hicks moves from Appalachia to the big city and feel even more as outsiders than they already did. You see, even in the sticks there are many that you are advised not to trust.

    In the sticks oddly enough, there are not so many who are trying to get you to join them—excepting revival meetings.

    After some years in the new wasteland, their strong identities adjust. Their family had been a rich source of material for incorporation as identity—or for avoidance, as the case may be. The parents were people who thought for themselves.

    Belonging may not be as important for these hicks as knowing and being who they are.

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